‘It’s finally time to tell Wokey McWokeface that we’ve cancelled cancel culture’

Crack open the bubbly, it’s time to celebrate!

Nah, not sitting inside a pub but the fact the war on woke appears to be turning a corner.

Common sense is making a comeback. I know, shocking right?

This week prison staff have been ordered to keep calling ­inmates “prisoners” and not ­“clients”, “residents” or “supervised individuals”.

Kid you not, that original idea had genuinely been suggested by the Prison and Probation Service – who reckoned lags would suffer nasty hurt feelings if they were referred to in a way that didn’t involve respect and deference.

Er, hello? Some of these “guests” are rapists, murderers and paedophiles. Surely the Probation Service had more important things to worry about?

Like the teeny ­issue of the 138 people in England and Wales being killed by offenders who were back in the community and being monitored by probation services in 2019.

Indeed, a subsequent inquiry in to the service’s failings found that it wasn’t doing anywhere near enough to “learn from past mistakes”.

Thankfully Alex Chalk, the Prisons Minister, thought it was a load of balls too.

But we live in an era where ­never has so much navel-gazing rubbish been spouted by so few virtue-­signalling numpties.

From the horror of rewriting history by tearing down statues and renaming public buildings to the plain daft like insisting breast feeding becomes chest feeding.

I even received an official form recently that asked if I was CIS gender. Which, evidently, is someone who identifies as a woman and as assigned female at birth.

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Oh do FRO. I’m a woman. Or, as the woke jokes prefer it, womxn. Though how do you even ­pronounce that?

Though given that the BBC ­appears to think there are more than 100 genders, guess we’re still getting off fairly lightly.

Words that really are not offensive in any way shape or form – if you’ve got half a brain – can ­suddenly see you “cancelled” for “hate speech”.

It’s impossible to keep up with what is acceptable and what isn’t. Though given that everyone seems to be permanently offended by absolutely everything, it’s probably easier just to give up talking.

Last week’s Queen’s Speech details plans for new laws that will make it easier for freedom of speech to be protected, especially in universities. And about bloody time (if I can still say that).

There are criminal laws in this country that ban proper hate language.

Debate is the cornerstone of our democracy yet there appears to be an entire generation coming through who have a fit of the vapours if you dare to have a different opinion to them.

How are these kids going to cope with the real world, where not everyone is a cuddly cuddly snowflake?

Even Tony Blair admitted he was terrified about saying the wrong thing. Though given some of the “wrong” things he’s said in the past he’d have to go some. Weapons of Mass Destruction anyone?

No one has the right to not to be offended. Time we cancelled ­cancel culture, and stopped sleepwalking into a world of ­Wokey McWokeface hell.

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