Nicola Sturgeon’s coronavirus briefing brutally mocked by comedian in hilarious spoof

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In a remake of the First Minister of Scotland’s daily speeches, Godley suggested loved up couples should avoid “hanky panky” and instead should just use Facetime.

Responding to a question on what Scottish couples should do when meeting for the first time, Godley said: “Well I’m awfy sorry but there’ll be nae rumpy pumpy or hanky panky.


“They can pretend they’re in a Victorian novelet while they stand two metres apart like they used to do in the old days and somebody needed a chaperone.

“I mean, they cannae get too close.

“They should do that Facetime thing that young people do that I’ve heard happens.”

The funny clip has been viewed more than 80,000 times by fans on YouTube and was posted after the Scottish Government announced relaxed lockdown restrictions last Friday.


This will be the first weekend where lockdown measures have been eased to the point where people in Scotland can meet those from another household.

In her daily briefing yesterday, the First Minister reiterated her calls to ensure that any meetings with other households adhere to social distancing guidelines, as well as ensuring that items such as cutlery and food are not shared and people do not enter homes that are not their own.

She also asked that people avoid crowds at parks and beauty spots across the country, urging people to go elsewhere if areas are busy.

Ms Sturgeon said the changes would improve the lives of Scots, but added she was still “nervous” about the easing of measures.

She said: “I’m not trying to cramp anyone’s fun but I am asking for you to do it responsibly.

“If you are in doubt about whether your plans are within the rules or not, err on the side of caution.

“However harsh these rules might feel right now, and I know that they do, abiding by them will never, ever be as harsh as grieving the loss of a loved one.”


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Announcing her first stage plan out of lockdown earlier this week, Ms Sturgeon said that garden centres and recycling facilities will reopen.

Meanwhile, some outdoor activities such as golf, fishing, tennis and bowls will be allowed again, as will outdoor work such as agriculture and forestry.

People will also be able to sit or sunbathe in parks and open areas, and will be able to meet people from one other household – although only initially in small numbers and while they are outside.

Alongside this, people will be able to travel – preferably by walking or cycling – for recreation, although they will be asked to remain “where possible” within or close to their own local area.


Jane concluded her mocking of the First Minister, adding: “Anyway, guys we’re heading into the weekend and

“I just want to thank you.

“You’ve all been awesome.

“We’re all doing our best. See you on Monday. Right I’m out of here.”

While Sturgeon walked off stage, Godley added: “I cannae believe I said rumpy pumpy.”

The First Minister is a fan of the Scottish comedian’s voice overs, saying of them: “Janey Godley is a brilliant comedian in my view, and her voice overs are very, very funny.

“They are very rude in terms of the language that’s used so sometimes I don’t feel I can retweet them but they are very, very funny.”

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